BENEATH THE BEAUTIFUL

Smile - fake.
Eyes - sad.

But you don't know that.

It’s always easier to wear the smile and look pretty than tell what's really wrong, huh?

I mean, who will understand anyways?? I've told other people. Didn't seem to bother them much. Why keep talking about it?

“It'll get better”, they say.
“You just need to have faith and trust God”, they say.

But these things?
These words?? Well, they're just words and really, they're easier said than done.

People expect a lot from me. My parents, my friends and everyone... Do you really want me to tell you how I flopped? What happened in that corner? Those thoughts... Those thoughts considered "abominable" and things I enjoyed initially but later regretted... Those things... things, I regret deeply...

You really really want me to relive these experiences, these things I took a while to run away from and some that I'm still running away from??

"You don't have to live in the past," they say. But, it all comes back, doesn't it? That little voice that wouldn't stop reminding you... And the things around you just seem to be pointing fingers.


"Take a walk.
Clear your head."

But my heart keeps twirling. My head, banging. People and things irritate me and sometimes, I really actually just want to disappear...

Peace...
...
Positivity.
That's the theme, yes?

It's the subject matter of the discussion with a hurt friend, a heartbroken sibling. It's the easiest way to encourage the girl with a problem, the boy with the addiction.
But, how real can it get anyways?

Truth?

It gets real with Jesus.
It gets real by giving Him all your burdens and taking His yoke that's easy to bear. It's real by letting go of all the hurt and the pain and the tears...
It gets real by leaving it all at the feet of the master and holding on to that flicker of hope that He's in control, that's He's done it. That, you need not worry because He's right beside you...

It gets real.
It gets so real.
When you no longer try on your own...

When you do the craziest thing ever
Trusting someone you can not see...
Giving Him everything...

And, honey
You know it's real
You know it's so real because right after that, you get... you get the peace...

- Blessing Mukorho
IG @blessingmukorho 
Twitter @bbellam 
Snapchat @blessingmukorho