Not everything looks the way they really are. For example, others can differentiate between selfishness and greed, I can't. So what might look selfish to you might look the same to me but it doesn't mean our definition or use of the word corresponds.
For me, selfishness means loving yourself so much you barely spare a thought for others. Greed, at the same level is thinking about yourself when other people should have featured in your consideration.
So when someone displays such act and I point out that "oh this is so selfish" I sometimes get 'corrected' with something like "no he is just being greedy."
I refuse to argue, usually because I realize that our opinion may never be the same.
When someone lies to you, irrespective of the relationship between you and that person, they have taken something away from you. They stole, hijacked knowledge from you. Maybe they were preventing an outburst from you, but it is just like stealing my money away from me because you don't like how I spend it.
Some times, people lie to you to 'protect you'. This is not always true but you alone can judge that situation.
The question is "what stems consistent lying? "
When you for example find out that your partner is a consistent liar to perhaps their parents, friends, or even strangers, what does it say to you? You might not suspect him/her of lying to you but you should be worried. Not worried that they'll lie to you someday but worried that they constantly consider their interest over that of other people. Be worried that their mind is being slowly or has already being programmed to defend their interest over that of people they should love. Worry about the fact that they probably can't face their mistakes and rather lie about it. Then ask yourself, do you really know someone that lies without conscience? Someone who is a good actor in a real life situation. Remember there is no honor among thieves. Lying is stealing information from another because of what you WANT out of the situation. Yeah, no body is a saint but some people are serpents. Beware. You don't want to spend the rest of your life with a stranger. You want to know what it means when they yawn you don't want to have doubt's about their whereabouts even when they have just called you to inform you. You don't want a dishonest person bringing up your children or maybe you're one? It makes your loved ones feel bad to be unsure about your assurance. It doesn't matter how difficult it is, you have to change. In fact I'd advice anyone in a relationship with such people to cut off the connection.
IF YOU'RE A CHRONIC LIAR, MY RECOMMENDATION IS THAT YOU FIRST EMBRACE AND LOVE YOURSELF, I MEAN ALONG WITH YOUR HIDDEN FLAWS, YOUR MISTAKES AND EXCUSES, YOUR FEAR AND SHAME. LOVE YOURSELF SO THAT THE RIGHT PEOPLE(PROBABLY NOT THE ONES YOU LOVE ALREADY) ALONE WOULD LOVE YOU.
And start having compassion for your brethren. That way, you'll consider what is good for them before you lie to them.
Is LOVE not the greatest commandment after all?
Tomiwa Abe
This is good...thanks 🙏
ReplyDeleteThanks dear
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