LYING IN RELATIONSHIPS ; GREED OR SELFISHNESS?

Not everything looks the way they really are. For example, others can differentiate between selfishness and greed, I can't. So what might look selfish to you might look the same to me but it doesn't mean our definition or use of the word corresponds.
For me, selfishness means loving yourself so much you barely spare a thought for others. Greed, at the same level is thinking about yourself when other people should have featured in your consideration.
So when someone displays such act and I point out that "oh this is so selfish" I sometimes get 'corrected' with something like "no he is just being greedy."
I refuse to argue, usually because I realize that our opinion may never be the same.

When someone lies to you, irrespective of the relationship between you and that person, they have taken something away from you. They stole, hijacked knowledge from you. Maybe they were preventing an outburst from you, but it is just like stealing my money away from me because you don't like how I spend it.
Some times, people lie to you to 'protect you'. This is not always true but you alone can judge that situation.
The question is "what stems consistent lying? "
When you for example find out that your partner is a consistent liar to perhaps their parents, friends, or even strangers, what does it say to you? You might not suspect him/her of lying to you but you should be worried. Not worried that they'll lie to you someday but worried that they constantly consider their interest over that of other people. Be worried that their mind is being slowly or has already being programmed to defend their interest over that of people they should love. Worry about the fact that they probably can't face their mistakes and rather lie about it. Then ask yourself, do you really know someone that lies without conscience? Someone who is a good actor in a real life situation. Remember there is no honor among thieves. Lying is stealing information from another because of what you WANT out of the situation. Yeah, no body is a saint but some people are serpents. Beware. You don't want to spend the rest of your life with a stranger. You want to know what it means when they yawn you don't want to have doubt's about their whereabouts even when they have just called you to inform you. You don't want a dishonest person bringing up your children or maybe you're one? It makes your loved ones feel bad to be unsure about your assurance. It doesn't matter how difficult it is, you have to change. In fact I'd advice anyone in a relationship with such people to cut off the connection.

IF YOU'RE A CHRONIC LIAR, MY RECOMMENDATION IS THAT YOU FIRST EMBRACE AND LOVE YOURSELF, I MEAN ALONG WITH YOUR HIDDEN FLAWS, YOUR MISTAKES AND EXCUSES, YOUR FEAR AND SHAME. LOVE YOURSELF SO THAT THE RIGHT PEOPLE(PROBABLY NOT THE ONES YOU LOVE ALREADY) ALONE WOULD LOVE YOU.
And start having compassion for your brethren. That way, you'll consider what is good for them before you lie to them.
Is LOVE not the greatest commandment after all?

Tomiwa Abe

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TITANIUM

TITANIUM

She's shedding light
Exploding at the slightest desire
An Element on her own
She was created, not discovered
Push her to limits,
She comes back with a hit
A sun on a rainy day
Nothing stops her, not even her weakness
Stubborn has hell
Flammable as air
She thrives on momentum
Lives by ambition
Underneath her silence is massive action
Always tickling, a pendulum
She is Titanium
She is smiling
Cuz she knows it's true

Share this with any ambitious woman you know. We recognize them.

Tomiwa Abe 

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FACELESS TRUTHS

The dark sees no pretty faces
Neither does it consider expensive jewellery
We are all naked in the dark
With no farce to hide behind.
This is when your truth comes to you
Away from the world's lively chatter
This is when the silence speaks your truth
Away from the make-up and social gatherings
The darkness is a critical mirror
Exposing your insecurities
Exploiting your cracks...
The littlest chink gives the armour away
So you stand exposed against a jury, yourself
Here you can't pretend to be someone else
Here you have no reputation
You have no personality..
You are just you, no add-ons
You're just truth, no lies
Nobody will judge you here, no one has to
It's your theatre suicide, all about you
You are the prosecutor, the accused
the judge, the jury.
And before the night is not
Your judgement is.
And before the morn is come
You truly, plainly, shamefully see yourself.

 - Djigga007

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TALES OF THE SUN

Now we have day
The day is bright and fair,
We can live and make memories,
We can experience and explore
We can unleash and unfold,
We can learn,  unlearn and relearn,
The day is still here,
We can close our eyes and paint a thousand pictures,
We can live out our dreams and fantansies,
We can fall on our feet and stand back up,
We can go partying and hang out with friends
We can fall in and out of love,
We can hope and keep hoping,

But night comes

Yes indeed it draws nearer,
When everywhere becomes silent,
The silence so hard it becomes deafening,
The night comes,
When everything feels so piercing cold
The path you once trailed doesn't seem the same,
The music you once savored has been mixed with noise,
The people you thought will be your forever are nowhere to be found,
Everywhere,  everything...
So cold, so piercing.
The soul feels so deserted,
Even the Sahara had seen better days,
The heart so lonely,
Even the hills have had better company.
What happened to that light that once shone so bright I thought i was going to get blind?
What happened to that life i once lived endlessly i thought i would never get enough?
Now it's all blurry and grey,
Everywhere, everyday...
So dim and dark
Maje hays while the sun shine
For night cometh when no man can see!

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HEY DEAR FOOD LOVERS!

Hello food lovers,

My name is Kemi Oladipo. I recently completed a course on 'Biosafety of plant Biotechnology' at Marche Polytechnic University,Ancona,Italy. 

I am currently conducting a survey on the 'Readiness of Nigerians for the commercialization of genetically modified crops in Nigeria'. I am using the social media and other associated entities to share the survey.

I will your support and provide you a medium to express your opinion about genetically modified foods in Nigeria. Please find the link to the survey below.

Available to answer any question. Kind regards,

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLScLvbgIbUnannWQCz01AW8FIVT1aq4JCba1ki6lQV84QAcKBQ/viewform?c=0&w=1

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FORGOTTEN FRIENDSHIPS

FORGOTTEN FRIENDSHIPS

Sometimes life appears to revolve around one or more people/thing so much that it seems without them life would not revolve at all. Then time happens and change follows, we move on and they become a memory.
It is pretty much the same concept in most unions. There is a period to meet, a period of friendship (no matter how brief) followed by a period of loving. We discover attraction and a desire to create love together during this period of friendship only to forget the friendship after the love is discovered.
Life will revolve around whatever/whoever we throw at it so if we take away friendship from our homes, life will find other things to thrive on.
But I ask, how can you love any other than a friend?
How can you continue to love without friendship?
We are running homes where friendship has exited the back door. Friendless love. It took with it, romance and sincere care, the desire to talk, share random messages, and just have fun.
We are always going to have challenges to deal with but friendship will always come before love.

Akinluyi Jeffrey  

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FORGIVEN

Sexual sins. Sins of coin and carnage. Sins of greed. All sins. Of every shape and of every conceivable size. Sins in Las Vegas. Sins in the club, church or cinema. Sins against father. Sins against brother. Sins worse than murder. Sins that make even sinners shudder. He forgave them all. He said that He would and He did. It was for His own sake.

Sins of today. Sins of tomorrow. Sins sinned by those who weep and sins sinned by those who would show no sorrow.

He blotted them all... Out from His books. He annihilated His records. He promised this and He fulfilled it.
Before we asked. Forgiveness...
Before we even prayed. Idariji
Before we got our act together. Aphesis...
Before we shed a tear. Mgbaghara

He did so by blood. He did so by giving His son to die. He did so for Love. He did so for us. Once and forever. An eternal offering. All sins. All peoples. Forgiven. He has forgiven you. He has forgiven me.

- Dami Maverick 

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THE RISE OF DOLLAR : AN OPPORTUNITY IN DISGUISE

SAILING WITH THE WIND.

Somehow, in any conversation I have an opportunity to engage in that concerns the situation of Nigeria I keep seeing people point upwards.
It goes without saying that our leaders are what we call them.
Yet, one thing we fail to address is who we are.

It is not a lie that our leaders are stealing from us. It is also not a lie that we are using them as an excuse for all our shortcomings. How long before we blame our creator?
Because it is worthless pointing fingers without proffering solutions I'll spill out my volcanic emotions and very quickly forge a cross. No, an anchor. Whichever works for you.

An ideology can spring forth many ideas. This is why I'll share this with you and leave the rest of the imaginations to your curiosity and will to explore.

There are problems in the country that themselves open doors of opportunity.
There are problems that don't even need solutions, rather management. I'll give two examples.

I'll like to take credit for the quote "if you sail in the direction of the wind, you won't find it difficult as against the wind. Life favors those who take advantage of the hands of time."

Take for example, the rise of dollar against Naira (or in reality, the fall of Naira against every other currency) presents an enormous opportunity for those who will see and act.

The time an eagle spends soaring is resultant of its capacity to take advantage of the wind. Therefore, it preserves its energy and dares a long distance travel.

A family friend of mine had a side hustle which was the importation of wears from the US. She doesn't do it anymore since "dollar is expensive" and customers can barely afford the new rates of the stock.

What if she decided to start exporting materials that other countries are in need of yet is abundant here? A quick Google search will give you the information you need in that regard.

WHY IS THE RISE OF DOLLAR AN OPPORTUNITY?

We can see that buying dollar is expensive. On the other side of the trade, buying naira is cheap. I mean an American buying an item from a Nigerian would have an advantage of fair price. This means that even if we increase the price(to a certain percentage) of whatever we're selling to this buyer, he'll find it convenient to buy from us.

Feeding has become more expensive. Nigerians must eat no matter what happens. So would it hurt to go into farming? Crude oil is failing us because of the way our government has handled the treasury. Then again, must we wait for the government to farm for us? Must we wait for them to till the very soil we ourselves have neglected? I know someone whose father started buying and reselling yam from one state to several others and built two fuelling stations as well as sponsor all his children through there academic career.

I say you can only look as far as you can see, and you can only see as far as your scope can cover. If blur, change your vision, Buhari cannot help you do that. Even if Obama becomes the president of this country, some problems would remain and these problems are
there for the taking for only those who see the opportunity they conceive.
There is a blessing in disguise you're complaining about. Why not look at it from the other side?

Written by :
Tomiwa Abe

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PARADOX OF GAMBLING

"Because of my past loss, I try to stake larger amounts and more frequently hoping to win back my accumulated debts" - Ifeanyi (problem gambler).

"Because of the great 'Luck' I once had,I stake more frequently believing that I'm just one game away from another 'Luck'". - Samuel (problem gambler).

"I'm always overwhelmed by the positive feeling and great chances I see on the forecast board which just makes me give it a try even when I know 'The House Always Wins'". - Fawaz (problem gambler)

Paradoxically, the more you lose the more you stake. Isn't this act questionable? Are you not supposed to deviate from such frivolous act that is to your own peril? Why do problem gamblers still place bets when the chances are extremely low? Why do problem gamblers still place large bets when it is obvious that all the odds are meticulously arranged to the profit of 'The House'.

 Trying to figure out exactly how many people around the world gamble is an inexact science. It's hard
enough to be absolutely certain about the numbers in any one nation, so trying to cobble together a worldwide picture comes with a lot of potential
error.
Still, there are numbers out there, which you might like to check out for yourself.

From my own point of view some of these gamblers have their brains freezed at the point of forecasting and staking because of the excessive adrenaline rush and sheer excitement coupled with the fact their hopes are too high to make them think they'll not lose. From the point of staking they even begin to place budgets on the income that isn't certain yet, so they never think things through. While others are just blinded by this 'illusion of control' believing that they can exert skill over an outcome that is totally based on chance.

  In addition, there are two major events out of all others that causes addiction to gambling, firstly we have:

Near-Misses: This an event in which an outcome of a placed bet is unsuccessful, but is extremely close to the desired outcome. Like your horse finishing second on the race track or you were just one number away from the golden jackpot. Then you say things like "That was close,another try"
"I think I'm getting better at this" "Luck is on my side". All these increases your propensity to become an addict.

While the other event is:

Loss Chasing: This is an event in which a person places a bet frequently and stakes with a larger amount with this distorted perception or believe of having more chances to recoup accumulated debts.

This phenomenon has caused and is still causing a lot of problems in the world today. People are getting into finacial catastrophe, relationships are broken(with man and God), work ethics are affected, children are misled, anxiety, worry, fatigue, depression all sets in, bad attitudes and habits are picked up, people steal to gamble or pay debts.

With all these loss, they still stake more, thinking its a panacea to their problems. What A Paradox!

©Malo Maverick

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YOU BEFORE ME

Seen the movie?
Me before you.
Dude was actually selfish, letting go when he loved, just because he was scared of the future.
Although he committed suicide - something I'll never do 🙅.
"Loving can hurt" according to one of the songs played in the movie. Actually, loving won't hurt more if you never gave enough and you let go knowing you could have done better.
What am I on about?

Love is a stairway and missing your step could hurt just more than your foot.
Love is going to change you forever. You're never the same person before you loved when you stop loving.
I guess I'm trying to make three points about myself.
Regrets could be lessons if let be.
1) love is a platform for the other to grow
2) love is bigger than your idea of a perfect relationship. Stop denying yourself and your partner of all the joy you could have.
3) If you find yourself in love with someone taking advantage of your good attributes and abusing them, don't change yourself because they deserve worse than you offer. Rather improve yourself and your worth. They might just hate you for being too good to be true... At least you're that good. Maybe they'll come to terms that they don't deserve you and step up their game. Or maybe you'll finally agree that you're worth your value.

In that movie, the guy had an idea of the relationship he'd rather be in. Even tho he could never have it, he allowed his expectation mar his vision. He couldn't see the beautiful, rare opportunity presented to him. He probably felt he didn't deserve that much. Doesn't this happen everyday around us?
Some months ago, I wrote an article here covering my experience as a guy in different relationships I had. There, I viewed my situation through an unclean spectacle. I saw the faults in others while my spectacles were so stained, no matter were I looked, there were faults. I guess you can say I had issues.
🙍🙎🙍🙍🙍🙎
In view of this, I say one bad relationship can destroy the good in you.
You just have to fight to remain who you really are cos in the end, no one cares about your story, they just want your blessings. People will take you for what you can offer.

If you're in a relationship, think about it, what is your essence to your partner? There has to be something, whether material or not, something. After all love is always tied to something.
Only God can truly love you the way you think love actually exists. Humans are known to be in for something.
Be someone, be something, make your partner better, happier, healthier, smarter. Most importantly, make your partner deserve your love. Only your love could make that possible.

Written by :
Abe Tomiwa

Your comment means a lot to us. If you have any contributions, questions or recommendations, email us at officialpurplenigmers@gmail.com
Have a colorful and love-filled day💕

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CASTING CROWNS

CASTING CROWNS

What a day well spent!
I thought to myself as i got down from my uber ride, heading towards the gate. I felt so inspired after listening to the motivational speakers at the event but that inspiration could wait because I could no longer ignore the melodies from my stomach, having had nothing all day other than the sandwich I had packed along with me while leaving. I got into my room, happy to be home at last, after such an eventful day. I managed a change of clothes so I could grab a bite before I pass out. I was really hungry . I took off my denim jacket and the striped dress I was wearing, sat on my bed and to my utmost surprise, the weirdest thing happened...

I wept.

All my life I have always wanted to be this perfect little girl in my perfect little world. I try to fit in as much as I can by doing things that I think will make people like me. I am a worrier by nature so I naturally overthink things. Everything is a big deal to this girl!  Even the most trivial things that others would probably not have given a second thought to, I give a thousand thoughts (no exaggeration... errr well maybe just a little). If I simply make a mistake or say something stupid, I beat myself up all day long, like...God, that was so lame, why did I say that?.

Letting go ain’t one of my strong points, but it’s funny how I forgive easily. I guess that's my forgetful side at work. Nahh I don’t forget things, not that I will hold a grudge or anything like that, but my memory just registers every event in my life efficiently. So people see me as this very tough girl with no emotions. I cry for the most stupid things. Words hurt me a lot, like you can punch me and slap me but don’t talk to me anyhow, I’m very fragile emotionally.

Enough of the 20 Facts about Me!

Now i’m crying for how much time I have wasted trying to be who I am not. I have belittled myself so much that I am like a midget where i was supposed to be a giant. The view of my occupied yet empty life flashed before my very eyes. I had been busy doing nothing and I didn’t even realize it. I thought I had it all together, I thought I was doing great, I thought I was on a mission, I thought I was building a brand, i thought I was creating a name, I thought...

Little did I know that I was on a mission with no vision. Like a lost sheep in the midst of wolves, I delved into any and every thing. I kept saying to myself as long as I am doing something, I am moving forward, I would be alright, so I thought.So many years of pointless struggles, endless travails, needless battles, what was it all for?.
I was too scared to let go
I was too scared to unveil
I was too scared to be real
I was scared of being me.

I know what this present me looks like and even though it’s not all perfect but quite a number of people still like this version of me but this new me, or rather the real me I have always put away I don’t really know what it looks like, what it feels like, what if it’s not cool? what if everyone hates me for me? what if the me now is better than the real me? what if...

I flood my head with these thoughts and sink in the ocean of panic, day in day out. I keep the act going . I go about my routine smiling and making faces in selfies like hell yes I want to be authentic but for now I will just live!

The morning is gone, day becomes night, curtains are closed, make-up is off and I am all alone again. There’s that heavy burden in my heart, like fifty bags of cement lying on my chest. That feeling of emptiness in the midst of plenty, that feeling of wanting so much more.

I smiled all day long. My smiles are a killer trust me, might have pierced through a soul or two. That smile might have given hope to a few, but the spot left untouched was my very own heart , which was bleeding from the pain of rejection by my inner self. Constant raging demons clamouring for peace !

Now I am just sitting here, writing in tears, the pain flooding my heart greater than the trickles from my eyes. How did I come this far from reality? When did i stoop so low? A rat in the jungle when my place is with the lions. Where did I go wrong? The voices of anguish screaming in my head, what is the way out? It cannot end this way, no, there must be a happy ending somewhere.

Though I am no Cinderella, my glass slipper is missing. I have been holding on to one half for so long it hurts. I am tired of walking on my toes and hopping on one leg of my glass slipper...I have to find my balance. I want to stand again! This time not on my toes but on my feet, with a complete pair of glass slippers.

Where can i find my glass slipper? Somebody... anybody? Will some handsome prince charming return it back to me? Or will i have to ride the horse’s back all by myself to get it back? Who will rescue me from this dilemma? I have rode horses so high and tall in the past but this particular horse i am scared to ride on, the fear of the unknown, the road uncertain, my feet filled with blisters from past mistakes.

You know what? I am tired of running, i am tired of riding, i am just going to wait in solitude. Like Cinderella did, I am not going back to the royal ball to get my glass slipper, I will wait for my knight in shining armour. I have tried it my own way several times, this time I am going to do it differently. I am giving up my ego, my pride, my selfishness, my greed, my deceit, my vanity, my ways...casting my crowns! *takes make-up off, lets hair down, takes first breath of freedom*
Whoof! she sighs.

LESSONS
1) Your missing glass slipper is your purpose. Until you discover your purpose, you are living a lie!
2) You can never feel complete if you are living outside God's purpose for you.
3) Don't be too quick to judge anyone because you have no idea what they are going through. Be as compassionate and sensitive to others as you can.
4) We get so caught up in activities and events that we hardly have time for sober reflection anymore. Once in a  while, try to withdraw from the world and spend time:
 i) with God, you can only find Purpose in the one who  created you.
ii) alone to redefine your values and goals. Just like the girl in the story, she didn't even realize how lost she was until she sat down to think. Every now and then, take out time to refuel yourself or you might burn out!
5) Let go of your pride, ego, selfishness and uptightness and just breathe! Don't take yourself too seriously. Give room for your inner self to express itself.
6) Be humble. No one is competing with you. Cast your crown, you are still king!

I hope we all enjoyed this piece. You can leave your comments in the comment box below and also share link with family and friends. If you have any subject that has been bothering your mind and want us to talk about it, comment below or send a mail to officialpurplenigmers@gmail.com. Our job is to help you find yourself. We aim to show you your real!
Log on tomorrow for more...

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PURPLE

PURPLE

The magical colour yet the hardest for the eye to distinguish.
The color of clotted blood, it brightens every garment in a switch.
Royalty, luxury, creativity, nobility are all its prestige.

Why I'm purple?
What purple means to me?
Purple defines my uniqueness, putting my enigmatic nature in bold, walking through a garden of flowers, the purple hibiscus would always get your attention, the very first dye man made. I am the very first of my kind, in a class of its own. Maybe that's why I'm left out in school, maybe that's why everyone points out I'm weird. I could be blue calm where the normals are raving, I could be red eccentric and illogical, in situations that require normal reactions. I am two diverse personalities, as purple is unique mixture of two opposite colours.

I denote a unique minority being purple, like the royals in old Rome. Purple the colour of royals, the colour of pride. I raise my head above the majority because I'm not one of them, I exist a world apart from theirs,. While there's not enough of me in the world, there's too much of them. I was born different, a royal, this is why I'm purple.

My beauty may be invisible to the majority, just some weird dude sitting in a corner, but like purple is the only invisible colour in light's spectrum, it takes something special to find the beauty in me. The beauty Caeser saw in purple that made him declare it unique to royalty alone. The priceless nature the Neto Caeser saw that made him declare wearing anything purple punishable by death for non royals. Only the unique can find the greatness in me.

I stand for purple because I'm expensive, priceless. It's no coincidence that the highest denomination poker chip (5000$) is the colour purple. I'm an embodiment of traits the majority cannot afford, and my influence on the lives of those dear to me cannot be exchanged for materials.

At purplenigma, purple depicts all shades of positivity; positive thinking, positive attitude, positive vibes, positive words, positive change, everything positive. When I say “I’ve got my purple on”, it means i’m on some higher dose of positive, It means don’t bring negative to my doorstep!

We are building a brand. We are creating a name. We are marking our territory. It’s the PURPLE ZONE. Like nothing you have ever seen, it’s a community of self-aware people who are ready to take over the world with their positive attitude. A constitution of royal breeds, uniquely different in every way. We brag different because we are not your regular people, no we are not common. We are here to serve. We are here to make your world better. We are here to make your heart #purple...
Purple is our identity
Purple is the new rave        
Purple is the new cool
Purple is you and I
We stand for #purple

You'd find our purple prose laced with creativity and elaborately garnished. We put our hearts in our arts and we connect to our audience on a level uniquely mental. You'd find our purple poems calming psychologically, and our uniqueness would soon rub off on you.

Words that would inspire virtue and faith to heart void of hope, inspiration to push forward, verses that would provoke creativity leading to psychological salvation.

 Because we're purple, our influence on you would leave you purple; a uniquely wise creature, ready to take on the drab majority. Wouldn't you rather stand out, wouldn't you rather be purple? Join the purple movement and become a part of something phenomenal!

Now that you know a thing or two about our purple, I ask the question again, What’s purple? :)
Leave your comments below and stand a chance to win our branded clothing.

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