HOW TO DEAL WITH DEPRESSION; SUICIDE IS NOT AN OPTION!

Hello dear readers and guests! Today we are going to be talking about a sensitive subject that is fast becoming a trend : DEPRESSION
First of, let me erase the myth that Depression is only for the whites(oyinbo people). This is a fallacy, anyone can be a victim! Your neighbor, kid, sibling, classmate, parent, that weird boy on the street, that aunty that is always frowning, etc.

Depression is a form of deterioration in mental health. It is a sad feeling of gloom and inadequacy. Depression drains energy, hope and drive, making it difficult to do what you need to do to feel better and it is more worrying because people around don't seem to notice until it becomes manifest in form of suicidal attempts or physical breakdown.

WHAT ARE THE CAUSES?

• Psychological traumas, if not properly attended to by counselling can lead to growing depression.  Every human being has latent depressive symptoms, our drive to life and to achieve which is our greatest strength is also the source of our greatest pain. Lack of achievement brings lack of fulfillment, lack of peace and thus Depression.

• Over thinking can also lead to Depression. Those that over worry or over process things tend to get depressed because they keep replaying their failures and regrets in their minds. It's like a circle they cannot break out from and this leads to Depression.

• Victims of Depression often feel like the whole world is against them. Nobody cares, nobody understands, nobody sees nor hear them. They feel invisible, inferior and inadequate, some due to past horrible experiences and others due to negative thoughts.

HOW DOES IT WORK?

Depression is a psychological issue and because of this,it is not easy to identify at its early stage. So many depressed victims go about smiling and acting normal because they have developed what I would term an ADAPTATION TECHNIQUE. They put up an act while in the midst of people but once they are alone, they feel lonely and dejected all over again. A good example of such is the great comedian, Robin Williams. He was a succeed actor, made people laugh, had loads of money, had a good life but was seriously depressed to the extent of taking his own life. This goes to show that Depression cannot be cured by mundane things like wealth and fame.

The worst set are those people who are in DENIAL STAGE; they are depressed but don't realize it or they do not want to admit it. They vent out their anger or depression by being unnecessarily fussy or mean or by bringing others down. They are always in a bad mood. Hope and faith are the greatest cure to Depression.

SIGNS OF DEPRESSION

How Can We Identify People Suffering From Depression?

The general common symptoms include:

Ø   Isolation and Avoidance; withdrawal from the public

Ø  Loneliness (wanting to be alone)

Ø  Addiction (to drug or sex or a habit)

Ø  Sudden change of attitude or mentality

Ø   Lack of interest.

Ø  The Cage – you feel trapped inside yourself,see yourself as disgusting, helpless and worthless

Ø  Self destructive signs; wanting to harm yourself or inflict injury.

These are just few out of many.

WHAT CAN BE DONE?

Of course we have physical and medical drugs to help reduce Depression called AntiDepressants but these have their side effects when over used.

The greatest cure to Depression is LOVE. 

We cannot always know or tell when someone is depressed but if we are always nice to everyone we meet, friends or not, whether we like their faces or not, then we can help them overcome it. Some people just make cutting remarks or hurtful comments without caring about how the other party feels. Your words can either destroy or save. It may be a simple genuine loving compliment that you would give to a depressed victim that would save him from committing suicide, conversely, your hurtful words can also be the last straw that would break the camel's back. How would you feel if they tell you the person you were so mean to the day before just took an overdose and died? We should think carefully before we talk. It costs us nothing to show kindness and love.

Your love should not be SUBJECTIVE; for a selected few only then the others can rot. You have no clue what the person next to you is going through. Everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Show love to ALL.

WHAT CAN YOU DO?

To really reduce this rate of Depression, we all have a role to play. That friend you have not heard from in a while, have you called him or her? When last have you visited your loved ones? Social media has taken the place of actual face-time friendships. Love is all we need.

And if you are reading this right now and you are actually going through Depression or you are seeing tendencies, you often sink into a sad and lonseome mood, you think and worry a lot, feel inferior, feel no one cares or understands? You are not alone dear. Here are few things you can do to overcome it:

1) Reach out and stay connected to supportive people. When going through Depression, you tend to withdraw and push people away but just try and reach out to people. Talk to someone, anybody. If talking to a stranger will make you feel more comfortable, then see a counselor.

2) Do things that make you feel good even when you don't feel like it.

3) Decongest. Stop over worrying or overthinking . You are beautiful just the way you are.

3) Read good positive motivational books that would help boost your self esteem.

4) Go out often. Take a walk,go to places and social events.

5) Challenge negative thoughts. The world is not against you.

6) Find a new hobby. Look for new interests. Spark up new flames.

7) Meditation is a great therapy. Whenever you get the feeling of loneliness, rejection and dejection, just pray. Talk to God because He truly understands and know exactly what you're passing through. The word of God also helps to restore your confidence and joy.

So dear friend, you are not alone. Here are some commentaries from live victims of Depression that have overcome it:

"I can trace the beginning of my depression back to my junior secondary school. I had never felt the absence of my parents before then because I had a very loving grandma. Going to boarding school faraway in ile-ife changed that. I got no visits from family and my parents and my brother were abroad. I had a guardian that showed me as much love as I could ask, but you're not allowed to 'keep' them in school. I was often bullied by verbal abuses and mocked by classmates and seniors. They knew my parents and sibling were abroad and I was the only one in the nuclear family left in Nigeria, so they'd often say I'm adopted or too ugly to be taken along, or that my parents were ashamed of me. I was about 10-11 and this continued through out my junior secondary school. My dad used to come home every now and then but his idea of how love should be shown wasn't my expectation of what love could be like. I had a lower pocket money and often smaller provisions than my colleagues, so I was often mocked for living less than people that didn't even have relatives abroad. As the words continued I started believing them myself, wondering if my parents cared of of I was adopted. I started to feel unwanted and uncared for, like a liability. I was forced to live with an aunty I disliked because she was strict and 'liked' beating me. For most of my teenage years I couldn't go out to visit friends, the one time I tried I was beaten to stupor. By then everything just felt like I was mistreated or abused. Maybe I wasn't, but the way my mind had been conditioned made everything seem that way. I saw myself as low as a house help in my aunt's house, I cooked, washed the dishes, washed the clothes, swept, all that. I saw how they treated their children and it made me feel like I never had that kind of treatment. I never got the kind of attention or love I wanted. I just wish my parents would have told me why they were so faraway, call me saying they missed me and wished I was with them, and ask about how I'm doing, what I want and all that. There was no one to talk to when I was happy, no one to talk to when I was sad, No one to make me feel happy. I had brief moments of liberation on social media. Talking to unknown people and building relationships with people I had never met, the moment I met someone who understood how I felt and felt sympathy for me I attached to them, unwilling to let go. That was the first time I felt like I mattered. I attached my worth to twitter followers, retweets, and shoutouts. I mattered there so it became an addiction. I would say things, do things, lie, fake, just for the attention, because this was what I lacked all my life. Friendship, communication, relationship, attention and acceptance from the right people. I don't know when I stopped being depressed, probably a year after I got into the university. I had made friends like me, I was talking to my mum more and was getting money directly from my dad. I no longer needed social media to feel like I mattered, I had people to show me that in real life, I had my first real girlfriend in the university, and it felt like she was the first real person to accept me. I'm grown up now and I understand why my parents couldn't take me and what all the situations in my life had been about. So the foundation for my depression has been broken. What caused my depression was lack of communication, feeling of rejection and unimportance, lack of the proper attention and miscommunication of love. Now I communicate effectively with my parents, I know their intentions, I've influenced lives so I know I'm important, I've built deep relationships and friendships, so I don't feel rejected, and now I understand love the way my parents speak it, ignoring how I expect it to be spoken, so I know I'm loved".

               - Olalekan Micheal     

"Hello friend,

It's been a while. I see your smile has faded and your strength is waning. Yeah, I can see it even though you try to mask it with a grin and forced dance. I see through your act and I understand.

I know because I have been there and on occasion I visit.

But today I smile because I have found joy to last for days and enjoy the nights. So Take my hand, friend. Let me show how much joy God wants you to have.

You see, your mind has convinced you that you are all alone and no one cares about. But that's not true. Jesus counts you so worthy that He emptied the vaults of his empire to purchase you from death and despair. So please let go of the weight you are carrying. You are not alone. Sing and make melody in your heart. Rejoice, shout and dance and Watch as your brain cells get infused with supernatural joy. A joy that is not determined by the things around you. This joy is in the Jesus and Jesus is in you. Simply believe. Stop listening to the devil's lies”.

                  -  Dami

Thanks for reading this long but worthwhile post. Please share with as many as you think would need this, you just might save a life! If you would like to share your experience with us and inspire others on how to overcome Depression, feel free to comment below in the comment section or send us a mail at officialpurplenigmers@gmail.com. you can also join the movement by  following our IG Page @_purplenigma_ as we will be having a series on this topic for the next one week. Shalom!

Written and Compiled by : 

Ogundipe Jesunifemi

CEO PURPLE MOVEMENT